FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: IS IT WORTH IT? HOW DOES IT WORK?

Emotional Roller Coaster

Let's just say if you're an emotional wreck, you probably don't want to go ahead and commit your self to casual sex or a casual relationship, as that is the equation for disaster, especially if you just got out of a relationship or you are just desperate to be in one.

Remember that friends with benefits is not a relationship, and even though a friends with benefits situation can be considered a casual relationship, that doesn't mean that it is a "real" relationship (IE boyfriend/girlfriend).

In order to have a "friends with benefits" type casual relationship, you want to make sure that you are in the right mindset for that type of relationship. You want to make sure that you are stable enough on your own before attempting this feat, and yes it truly is a feat- an endeaver that many people cannot undergo.

No Strings Attached

What are the rules of a casual relationship (IE friends with benefits)? Well, it's a little more complicated than you think. I mean, casual sex seems pretty simple, but if you have opted for casual intercourse and sexual activity exclusively with one person, it's a little more complicated than you think.

• No feelings involved.

You have to make sure that you and your potential "cuddle buddy" are both in the proper mindset. If one of the two of you actually has feelings for the other, then it's not going to work. Think about it, if Jane has the slightest amount of feelings towards John, then she's just going to get hurt thinking the intimacy will lead to a "real" relationship when it probably won't.

And with casual relationships, no one is supposed to get hurt, that's why it's called casual...

• No strings attached.

Meaning that you can bug the other person "whatcha doing?" "wanna go to the movies?" "can i come?" "who ya hanging out with?" None of that.

Basically, this goes hand in hand with no feelings involved. The more strings there are, the more feelings get involved, and if you truly are not looking for a committed relationship, then you don't want serious feelings and attachments to be involved.

• Don't have expectations.

If you have any expectations about when you and your "cuddle buddy" will be hanging out, or any expectations about the future of the casual relationship that you've found yourself in, then stop right there. End it. Keep your troublemaker locked inside your pants.

The minute you start having expectations about when you're supposed to hang out or what you or the other person are supposed to be doing, that's it. You've got a few strings, and strings lead to attachments, which lead to feelings, and if you're in a casual relationship with one thing on your mind, you don't want to further this situation.

You don't want anyone to get hurt, and the minute one person starts to get feelings that the other is not experiencing, someone is going to get hurt, even if you don't mean it.

Casual Relationships Among Friends

With the basic rules understood, the question is, "can friends have casual relationships and still be friends?"

Personally, I think so, as long as both parties make sure to keep any sign of seriousness out of the picture. Keep things fun, playful, and string-free, and I believe friends can carry on a "friends with benefits" relationship.

Just make sure that all of the rules about the situation are outlined in the beginning before things ever get started.

My opinion isn't the same as other's though. Many people believe that if all you want is casual sex, leave your friends out of it. You don't want to lose a friendship of a casual relationship.

When deciding whether or not you want to be friends with benefits, the ultimate decision is going to be up to you, but personally, if you're going to have casual sex with someone, wouldn't you prefer that you at least know the person and trust the person? I know I would.

The one thing that I wouldn't recommend, is a friend with benefit that was once a boyfriend, or girlfriend, but you never know maybe that would work for you. You just want to make sure that there are no leftover feelings underlying with either party.

Worth... Is it there?

Now, if you are seriously thinking about a friends with benefits situation, good for you, give it a shot. I don't recommend it for everyone, but if you think you want to try it, go for it.

And, you never know, that friend with benefit situation may actually turn into more, but don't get your hopes up and don't go into the situation thinking that!!!

Just remember that a casual relationship is a lot of work on both parties. It's not some thing that is truly as care-free as it seems, and whether or not it is worth it in the end, that's something are going to have to decide.

Personally, whether a casual relationship is worth it or not, depends on the situation and the person.

An example being, an old friend comes to town for a month. You've been talking for about a month prior, and you've decided to "see where things go," but at the same time the friend will be moving over 12 hours away at the end of that month. You can either 1) truly see where things will take you, or 2) have a good time no strings attached. It's really up to you as to the decision, but if you go into the situation wanting to see where things will take you, what happens when the friend leaves and you or the friend has more feelings than intended, what then? Would you move? Or would you rather not stress the situation, and just have a good time for a month?

I'm a stresser, so my decision is to limit the amount of stress to undergo. I'll opt for pure fun for a month. But, what do you do?

Quote From http://hubpages.com/hub/Friends-with-Benefits

DerrickY

04/01/10

2324

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

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Well, one of my friend send this article to me and ask me read through it, understand it. I am not sure isn't correctly describe a women thinking but wish u guys just take a look and comment on it.

My opinion is why a woman like to talk in indirect way. Well, i believe all the guys have the same thinking with me, we like straight forward answer. Guy can consider as a lazy species, we don't like to play guess guess guess and we are lazy to think. Life already very busy with daily life, studying and working. We don't like to spend more time on this. This is not means guys are not caring women, is just the way man and women using are different. Women always say, why guys cannot understand girls' feeling. The answer is simple, there is the girls don't like to make the conservation clear and make it mystery. Once the guys misunderstand the message, problems are coming. Sigh.

Actually this is not only happen on women. Some guys also doing the same thing. It really tiring~~~

Please la~~~ Let make the thing easy and simple, don make us play guess guess guess ba....Please straight forward to the people around us, don pretend or watever la....Don't make life complicated....

Remember: " SIMPLE IS PERFECT".


DerrickY
11/03/2009
0221

THE WORLD BEST JOB

About the job:

Explore and report back

There’s so much to see and do, so you’ll have plenty to write about in your weekly blog. And with so much life above and below the water, you’re sure to capture some entertaining moments for your video diary and photo gallery. To keep you busy, Tourism Queensland will organise a schedule of travel and events on the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef. Your schedule could include sampling a new luxury spa treatment at qualia on Hamilton Island, tryi

ng out new snorkelling gear on Heron Island, or bushwalking on Hinchinbrook Island.

Feed the fish

There are over 1,500 species of fish living in the Great Barrier Reef. Don’t worry – you won’t need to feed them all.

Clean the pool

The pool has an automatic filter, but if you happen to see a stray leaf floating on the surface it’s a great excuse to dive in and enjoy a few laps.

Collect the mail

You’ll have some time on your hands, so why not join the aerial postal service for a day? It’s a opportunity to get a bird’s eye view of the reef and islands.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Smi3TuY5Lg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gsxm25cIAzM

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The world best job is the hottest news recently, there are more than 34000 peoples from all over the world apply this job. There will be only 50 peoples short-listed and 10 candidates will be selected. It mean that less than 1% chance to get the job offer.

Well, Im also one of the candidate in this island care taker program, but unfortunately I already "kena" reject before "kena" select...Sigh....

Well, my video clip is not accepted by the authorized unit, so u guys cant view it through the website. So, i upload my video clip here.

P/S: Some infomations are quote from www.islandreefjob.com

DerrickY

28/02/2009

2147

SELF TEST~~~

排一下自己最易哭的原因!

(1是最容易, 5是最不容易)

五个选项分別是： a.感动 b.伤心 c.痛( 是肉体, 不是心灵) d.生气 e.担心/紧张

ANSWER:

感動：不是跟你很熟的人覺得你是......

排在第1 - 一個常常把自己藏起來的人。很有神秘感。不容易接近。

排在第2 - 一個很會關心別人的人。很容易發現身邊有人不開心。不會很容易講錯東西或話題。

排在第3 - 一個傻傻的人。怪怪的。想做什么就做什么。不过很可愛。

排在第4 - 一個不會想﹐老是要人擔心的人。(特別是长辈)

排在第5 - 一個很聰明﹐很負責任的領導人。對你很尊敬。

伤心：跟你很熟的人觉得你是......

排在第1 - 对很多事都要求很高的人。不過有很多時候都太固执。

排在第2 - 可以跟你讲道理。黑白之间分辨得很清楚。

排在第3 - 心思很細膩的人。很多時候傷心不會表現出來，不過其實大家都看得出來。

排在第4 - 會先想很多才會做選擇。不想自己給人看扁,自尊可以算是很強的人。

排在第5 - 外剛內柔的人。但其實知道你的內心不是那麼堅強。

痛：你想要別人觉得你是...... 排在第1 - 很需要別人保护的人。

排在第2 - 不是那么容易接近的人。

排在第3 - 好人一個。很关心身边的人。不怕做牺牲的人。

排在第4 - 很聪明, 不過又不会骄傲的人。

排在第5 - 很清楚自己想什么要什么的人。

生气：你最希望你的情人是......

排在第1 - 跟你很合拍。你跟他想的东西是一样,不用問便知道对方要什么。

排在第2 -不会很客易发脾气。要懂得容忍你。外刚內柔。有自己的性格。

排在第3 - 內心是很可愛的一個人。你猜不到下一步他会做什么。

排在第4 -很细心。你需要什么他都有准备。不会因为很少的东西便找你。

排在第5 - 智慧很重要。可以管得到你的人。而且要讲道理。

担心/紧张：其实真实的你是......

排在第1 - 一个很怕給別人看到自己是什么样的人。不喜欢自己性格的人。

排在第2 -孤独的人。很希望可以跟一大堆人在一起。不过很多時候都不知道怎样跟別人沟通。

排在第3 -觉得朋友比天还重要的人。很珍惜身邊很多朋友。敢愛敢恨。不過不喜欢的人你就不会去管..

排在第4 -直接的人。很多时候因為這样的性格跟別人不合。希望有多一點人可以了解你, 特別是你喜欢的人。

排在第5 -不是很清楚自己將來要什么。不過就很幸运的走过半生。不会对很多东西有要求。最重要是可以開心过每一天!

A friend send me this and ask me try on it, i found out that the result is quite accurate to me. Wish u guys can try it and c how amazing of it.


DerrickY
14/02/2009
0006

戴晨志金句

Attend a seminar talk by my idol Mr 戴晨志 last year November in The Mines Convention Center.

Here are some points that i think is useful and important in our life, so share out with you guys. Hope this will benefit all of us.

●等待機會，不如把握機會；把握機會，不如創造機會。
●只要開口就有機會
●專心專注才能更專業。
●“人類因夢想而偉大”是錯誤的；“人類因堅持實現夢想而偉大”才是正確的。
●寧願辛苦一陣子，不要辛苦一輩子。
●不怕慢，只怕站（原地踏步）；人不怕老，只怕舊。
●心不難，事就不難。
●天下沒有飛不起來的汽球，如果有，只因為它沒有打氣。
●只要你說能，你就一定能，別說不可能。
●把實力培養，有實力最神氣。
●想法大小，決定成就的大小。
●時間花在那裡，成就就在那裡。
●愛，就是在別人的需要上看見自己的責任。
●人生不如意的事十之八九，忘記八九，記住一二（如意的事）。
●看好自己，勝利總在堅持後面。
●金杯銀杯不如口碑好；金獎銀獎不如誇獎好。

DerrickY
13/02/2009
0240